sometimes

sometimes i get really run down because it feels like i'm always recovering from or surviving something ...

then i get hit with a week like last week and whilst making coffee in the sun drenched kitchen just now i found my.self feeling that all too familiar and surreal moment of «i can't believe i made it through another full frontal hit»

but i did and not only that, i also managed to adjust some behaviors, break patterns, surprise my.self. and as i was reading that tumblr entry i posted previously, i realized how now and again i value so little two things - recovery and survival - which considering my past history are not a given, but rather are always something i have to work really hard at and are two of my greatest achievements.

i just had a moment of clarity in another way i stress my.self. point made. lesson learned.