golden mend

“When the Japanese mend broken objects, they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold......They believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.” - Barbara Bloom

«I needed this reminder today, that our scars, our history, make us more beautiful.» Joanna S. Montgomery (@hellojomo on twitter, image below from her twitter account / http://hellojomo.com/)

Joanna is the proud mother of a 19 month baby girl and fighting cancer since the day her daughter was born (her cancer was found during her C-section) ... a little reminder to others that what they perceive as a reminder of our (previous or current) «state of brokenness» is indeed just proof that we have fought/are fighting, have survived and are surviving, rebuild ourselves stronger and are thriving not despite those fixed cracks but rather in spite of them ... love & light!

speech

“When you stand and share your story in an empowering way, your story will heal you and your story will heal somebody else.” Iyanla Vanzant

speak, speak, and speak ... first and foremost for yourself!

touching base

touched base with my psychotherapist to send out love due a specific date. the exchange was exactly the conversation i needed to have at this specific moment in time! sometimes in the midst of other people's messes present in my life i forget that i'm thriving! those messes are not mine, that's not me, and my decisions to strictly regulate traffic, in a manner of speaking, in my life were great ones. in fact, i had begun doing that a couple of years ago. i just resumed that momentum after a break to see things from a distance and gain perspective. everything has a time, a purpose, a rhyme and a reason, sometimes it just needs some time to clarify itself.

can't believe it will be 5 years post-discharge this winter ... she remains proud of me handling it all so well on my own (but then again, her parting words on discharge were 'you will never need therapy again in your life!'). i learned my lessons and i remain watchful and vigilant every day. i am a survivor!

the melancholic flood that brings forth new life

«For TOME 2, the theme is MELANCHOLIA, being the condition more akin to the alchemical phases the psyche passes through for our self-discovery and evolution…NOT depression or mourning, but something far more essential and ultimately beneficial to us all.»

thankfully there are others out there, thinking about life, art, ourselves, our connection to things, focusing on inner evolution ... they make it possible to deal with all the others ...

go down the rabbit hole ... take this ride!

please read: 44Flood Talks 'TOME 2', Melancholia, And Art

please check 44Flood's Tome 2 kickstarter project page: http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/44flood/tome-2-melancholia

notebooks

de-cluttering my life from outside noise was necessary not to refocus but rather to find new focus because i am no longer who i used to be. but it's always nice to find people who truly help you get back to your self's natural language. so today ... out came the notebooks ;)

Time

time. we need time and don't even realize it. we need time to lose ourselves, because at a very deep level we know that will be the only way we will ever truly find ourselves - more truly and more strange - again.

but while time heals it does not wait and disorientation sets in and we lose perspective and stress out about losing ourselves. and during that time people who lack the necessary tools or natural sensitivity to decode us mistake that person for who we are. 

so one day we wake up and our life feels clouded and covered with an emotional patine that is not our own, that is not enough, too simplistic, too simple, too filled with otherness and not realness. and we feel that the time has come, it is at hand, and we proceed because our *self* lies in waiting. and for that we need more time ... 

time to not just stand up at last once again, but to stand tall. time to grow, evolve and embrace change. 

time to see the signs all around you and realize that things are finally at an end and a new stage is here to stay. 

time.to.finally.let.go.

and suddenly just like that everything changed ... today was very good!